Also, I think Michael Vick is different from these examples because he committed an actual crime, not just a societal or ethical blunder. Also, I really really love dogs, and I miss enjoying the Eagles.

You are my Joe the Plumber. By that I mean you represent the mass of ignorant yet self-righteous Americans who are the first to open their mouths to complain about money being taken out of their pockets before they know the facts.

Miranda the Customer, no one is “begging for tips” out of your hard-earned money. The lucite tip boxes at Starbucks are subtle and unlabeled, and nowhere in your Starbucks experience will you be made to feel you should tip. That’s just your bad conscience carping.

Miranda the Customer, I do have an education - I’ll bet a better one than yours - and I am looking for a better paying job, no easy task in this economy for a war veteran who lost her small business during her overseas deployment. So let me tell you why, in the meantime, I’m working at Starbucks rather than McDonalds or Dunkin’ Donuts.

SBux gave me 2 weeks’ paid training that was well organized and thorough. It was so much information on the various aspects of the service I provide that I return frequently to the materials for refreshing.

Then, Sbux spent millions in lost income and additional training just to refresh EVERYONE in their stores what a perfect shot of espresso looks and tastes like. All for you, Miranda the Customer.

In addition - and on my own time - I have been required to brew and taste every one of our coffee blends, and then write well-informed descriptions of their aroma, their mouth-feel, their taste and their finish, so that I can now describe about twenty SBux coffees as if I were a waiter in a white-table cloth restaurant, with some degree of knowledge and sophistication. What kind of look would you get from a Mickey D’s or DD’s counter person if you asked them to describe their ONE blend of coffee?

Oh, and I am also expected to have the same depth of knowledge about all of our food offerings, including being able to give suggestions to customers with specific dietary needs.

And then there is our merchandise. Not sure which coffee press would best suite your needs, or would make the best gift? There I am, willing to give you as much information - and my time - as you need to make your decision.

No, I don’t serve you at your table. But I certainly have to clean up after you, both at the condiment bar and at your table, where you freely spill cream, sweeteners, and muffin crumbs, and leave all sorts of trash for others to clean up. And sometimes, yes, I do bring items to your table - even out to your car - without request, if I can see that you need assistance. You’ve brought your dog along on a hot day? I’m out there, giving it a bowl of cool water.

You come here regularly? I know your name, your drink preferences, even those of the spouse who’s waiting out in the car. I wish you a happy birthday, congratulate you on your new job/engagement/baby, sympathize with your losses. You forgot your wallet? No problem - pay next time you come in. Because I’ve taken the time to get to know you.

And, if you’re the type who needs to order a triple grande vanilla latte, two shots decaf one regular, three pumps sugar-free vanilla one pump sugar-free hazelnut, half soy half nonfat, one hundred forty seven degrees, 2 splendas, with whip cream in a venti cup, why I’ll take that order without laughing, make it for you perfectly and serve it with a smile. What, you forgot to ask for no foam? Here, let me make that for you again - free of charge.

All of this might make no difference to you, Miranda the Customer. For the majority of our customers, it does - and that accounts for their loyalty and their generosity. But if you truly feel that you’re being being served by an over-paid version of a McDonald’s employee, then I would strongly recommend you save yourself some money and patronize McDonald’s instead, where you will never, ever be confronted by the nasty spector of The Unearned Tip.

(PS - better yet, why don’t you save yourself alot of time and money and make your coffee at home?)

The problem goes even further than losing tips because people no longer carry cash. We’ve had many customers - and I’m assuming they aren’t regulars, since they are surprised when we inform them - who’ve wanted to leave tips on their receipts. The fact is, our credit card device is not programmed to print tip lines on the receipts.

I would guess the reason behind this might be two-fold. First, and perhaps most importantly, it takes someone time at the end of a shift to manually charge the tip onto the customer’s credit card - ie, increased labor hours. A secondary consideration might be about appearances - if a customer sees a tip line on their receipt, they would know that they’ve just partaken of a service where tipping is customary - so without the tip line, Starbucks is avoiding the ill-will of the Mirandas of the world.

But then, why would a store that clearly expects its customers to cover part of its labor costs actually make it difficult for those (unlike Miranda) who truly wish to? I think that if that small change were made - allowing tips for both credit card and Starbucks card users who *wished* to tip - our generous customers would not feel embarrassed by not having tipped, we’d forgo having to thank them for their good intentions, and our weekly compensation would be healthier with little investment from Starbucks.

And to the Mirandas of the world: we always ask customers if they would like their receipts, to save printing paper. You can always decline your receipt and never be confronted by the nasty issue of tipping.

On tip-sharing with shift supervisors: I have to agree with the majority of our partners who side with Starbucks on this issue. Our shift supervisors spend a great deal of their time up front with us, serving customers and assisting us to ensure we have fresh coffee brewed and fresh pastries placed on display during our heaviest customer traffic, in addition to their ordering, stocking, and banking duties - they deserve the tips. And as someone who was some familiarity with labor law (at least in California), they do not technically fulfill a key job under the definition of “management”: they do not hire and fire.

So if one way we, the barista partners, could be more profitably remunerated through our existing tips is to stop paying shift supervisors from the tip pool, then I would insist that Starbucks step up and bridge the gap in their hourly wage by paying them far more than just $1-2/hour for their increased responsibilities.

The profit-sharing for increases in store traffic is an interesting idea, but I don’t think it’s workable. For one thing, store traffic depends on so many factors beyond the baristas’ control: location, special events (like Octoberfest mentioned above), the coming and going of nearby competition, the economy, and Starbucks’ own policies and promotions. For examples of the latter, we lost a certain portion of our coffee-drinking regulars with the introduction of the Pike’s Place blend as our “everyday” coffee, reducing the choices among blends favored by our longtime customers; then there was a spike in afternoon sales during the “$2 grande after 2pm” promotion.

In my opinion, the best way that we as baristas can be expected to supplement our below-living-wage hourly income via customer generosity is to be allowed to deliver the quality of customer service that Starbucks made itself known for.

Our bind is that this is simply not possible when the volume of traffic increases past the capacity of the staff to serve customers efficiently. You may have heard that Starbucks has redesigned its scheduling practice, which is great in some respects, but the cost of the hidden labor-hours saved will be paid by overworked baristas and waiting customers. These conditions do not foster an environment in which I can get to know you as a customer, to share my coffee knowledge with you, turn you on to something you haven’t tried before, or simply to make that brief human contact that can brighten both of our days.

I’m not suggesting Starbucks increase its labor costs just so that we may increase our tips. But I would argue that understaffing creates an unpleasant, stressed-out environment common to any fast-food restaurant. If Starbucks wants to avoid becoming just an expensive version of McDonald’s, it needs to take that cost into consideration.

They are making coffee and taking cash. Occasionally, they (gasp) heat up something. Why do they deserve tips? They don’t bring the drink to my table, they don’t offer to fill it up again, they don’t provide any service beyond that of a McDonald’s employee.

I’m SO tired of everyone in the world begging for tips. Too bad if you don’t think you make enough money. Drop the “but I’m a coffee expert” bit, get an education and get a better-paying job.